Why I run away?

Posted on August 10, 2010


I have seen so many singles, couples, misdirected commitments, obligational marriages and yes their dramas. I thought I have seen enough. Now I found out that I have seen nothing at all. Why am I saying so?

Now, what would you do if you foresee a drama that you seen before? what I do? I run. I thought that is a perfect way to keep my life happy for years. Usually, some chase after me, some are standing there and watch me burn, other seem to be disable and cry. I was asking myself that why would I have to run away when I can butt out of the drama right after hearing the first ring of it, and block a contact. You see? simple. A click and you are free. I figured out the reason: I have commitment to the institution of “2 become 1”. We all do that when it come to love. In fact, sadly, we are all individuality. And, we should keep it no matter what happen. I am not against spouse/couple/love. I just go for what human being have defined for centuries: happiness.

This is my philosophy: happiness is not foresaw neither withdrawn, it’s temporary. The logic is that you feel happy now and this moment. You are certainly not happy because you heard a promises that you will be happy. The same way, you are not happy because some delighted memories flashed back, do you? So, I had the issues with commitment to the institution of jointing of two personality. Not any more! I now have another commitment: personal commitment. I rather go for good divorce better than bad marriage. I love to share time with who I love, but not my whole thoughts. I come to the harmony of romantic myth and seduction. I votes for keeping myself looking good even I’m sick, heart-broken, divorced, 3 kids, 40-crisis and wrinkled. I set my head on a golden silent pillow talk rather than lousy weeky mad. And, I willingly walk away from my marriage tomorrow and would not feel a thing. Yet I could not walk away from the person who I married to. The problem of “2 become 1” is not its classical meaning of harmony, but its consequences. We start taking our love for granted: less listen, less make up, less self, less interest (if you’re interested in yourself then go for the category of Narcism ), less motivation, less learning, less sex, less turn-the-head-aside, less you, less me, less individuality. Individuality look like a particle. Many particles becomes a huge matter. Two opposite particles fight and sometimes joint. What happen if every two particles become one. The result is visually obvious: less matter.

Therefore, what I have seen so far is just misleading logic, misconnecting couple, misunderstanding joint, and wrong persons. I am looking for a great harmonious personality to share time and together we feel like we understand ourselves more through experience the other’s life. Hence, believe me, I watch my parents divorce again and again in 10 years more often than I watch nice butts (lol). Love just start after you living with the person for a while and of course if you two mean to each other. Larry Winget, author of the book Shut Up, Stop Whining & Get A Life (2004) – a succeed recorded guideline for who asked “Where did I go wrong?”, has written “…if you are now married or have been married, then you know you did not know the person you married until you lived together for at least a year”. So, taking for granted what you knew about your man/woman seem to be a bad way to go. What I am saying is that people change, therefore the relationship will change for sure. You can choose to go for the adaption or stand by at the level of misery and shout 3 times “you are going to hell”. Taking the moment you have now to enjoy and make happiness. Nature can not change, but change is nature 🙂